Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
I hear what you are saying.
One thing that comes to mind, the statistics of it taking up to 8 attempts to leave an abuser.
Is it really because society expects one to be made of steel? Or does it have much to do with codependency?
It's not usual that all was lovey dovey and a bed of roses from the first moment. I've encountered more survivors that more oft than not will say, the signs were there from day 1. But were overlooked because of whatever reason.
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I agree about the signs n etc (early on but not straight away) n I also agree about codependency. I don't think society expects us you be made of steel, I think society enforces the idea within us we become made of steel if we wish to survive. I also think by doing so, society plays a role in perpetuating the continuance of the codependency. No, I am not saying victims do not have any control of their situation. I am saying for a victim, finding that sense of control is next to impossible and if you only have people telling you what you are saying is wrong, then finding that sense of control n thereby perhaps finding a way to negate the codependency, becomes harder still. Encouragement and empowerment and validation are the things victims need. Most of the time though, what I see them getting is criticism, invalidation, and condemnation.