Well, I don't know why, but I get treated like I'm invisible, and the online communities I know in general just aren't what they used to be around 10 years ago. Forums for certain subjects are practically dead nowadays, possibly because people have started using message boards less, and instead, they send text messages or go on social media.

As a person who suffers from social anxiety when it comes to chatting away to people face to face, I just think this is so bad. It tends to bug me, as I've been so engrossed with the Internet for years now, due to unfortunate circumstances with people I used to be associated with. Many people have not treated me right, and I think my open nature and status as a loner often invites people to ruin my life even more. Thus, I'm stuck recycling negative thoughts. Some years have just been so awful.

Facebook and many similar websites are full of douche bags anyway. They expect people to give them likes and the time of day, but what do they give back? Normally a big fat zero. I've seen all these online surveys which suggest that Facebook actually is very nasty, messes up one's self-esteem, causes fights, and can make you feel even more isolated. That isn't including all the spam and trolls. I've certainly no real use for it either way.

Every now and then, I send people messages just trying to be friendly, and they just read them, but never respond. On Facebook, I've never really felt like I've been truly welcomed with open arms - ever. Sooner or later, I just delete my latest account. I'm actually also under the impression that some nasty people have black balled me on there somehow, so these people all know me from idiots starting gossip, and maybe they don't want to make it obvious by outright blocking me, so they just give me the cold shoulder. It's the Internet, though. Unlike "real life" where you can sometimes be forced to talk to someone, it's easy online to judge that person based on so little. Even saints can become sinners online.

I've been accused before of over analysing things, and I find that to be somewhat untrue. Why is that? Well, I did indeed have issues with people, such as this actress. She then went and told other people about me so they did not give me parts in their films, and I suspect it still occurs. That is really sad, how people you do not even know personally can systematically screw up your life just by spreading stories due to their personal experience with you. But it's hard to prove it is happening, despite your six sense kicking in. What can be done about something you cannot prove?

I don't know, but I just think in general, most things involving the Internet is a waste of time. If you try to make your own videos or whatever to show off to people, even if you think what you prepared is good, you still feel like everybody will shut you out, over the fact there are literally billions of other videos out there. So people are probably only going for the super quality stuff. We cannot all be superb at something. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm part of a crowd, but until I bring attention to myself, nobody really notices or cares. Does anyone else here ever feel like this?