God, I can sooo relate. I really, really can. So sorry you feel this way. It's exceptionally tough when you don't even feel you can be honest about what you're going through with your own family. If nowhere else, I believe you should feel safe to fall in the arms of family and trust you will be caught with care. I wish I could rely on my family more for emotional support. Don't want to turn this into my sob story, but please know that you are not alone in this and here is a place you can find support and understanding.

Hugs