I hate myself. I have no money and I won't be able to live somewhere nice and accomplish my goals. I live in a disgusting house and my boyfriend will not let people in to help. It's so hot because we have no air conditioning. Can't get the air conditioner fixed until the house is cleaned. Boyfriend going away in a couple of weeks, leaving it all up to me. I'm so weary. I'm weak. I'm a fool. I don't know how to solve my problems.

I see my doctor today, just for a followup on my blood work.

There are moths, spiders and some other kind of tiny bugs. I want to move out. Have my own house. I don't see how I'll ever be able to do it.