I was obsessive about it when I was first diagnosed. I read everything I could get my hands on, hell, I probably know more about bipolar than the doctors do. But the focus gets less and less with time, and five years into the diagnosis I'm more focused on what I can do rather than what I can't because of my illness. I've also realized that what I have really is bipolar, not an existential crisis that will end at some point as I wanted to believe. But no, I don't think about it as much as I used to.