I've had constant depression for over two and a half years now.. Tried a few different anti depressants, psychologists, psychiatrists, lifestyle changes, etc.. Nothing seems to work, and that's not me being negative about it, it's just how it is.

My first T I saw for a little over a year, and I found she got to a point where she'd go over a relapse plan with me - aka, she gave up. What does one do with a relapse plan, when they're suffering the full extent of depression?

T number two, the current one, I've been with for a little under a year, she seems to be able to read between the lines a little more, but I still get the sense that she's ready to give up also. She can at least acknowledge that things aren't working, but that just fills my mind with fear..

I seem to try all these different things to change where my mind is at, but nothing works. I'm sure there are still things to try, but really, what if this is it for me? This is as good as I'll ever feel for the rest of my life. How long until I decide that it's really not work breathing through another minute? How long until I give up on keeping on and just become a vegetable? How does one live through a lifetime with something life this? Constantly dragging yourself through the mud, day in, day out.