there is a wide wide line... a frickin meadow if you as me... as to what constitutes boundaries. Personally, i think that's cool because one size definitely does not fit all. Having said that, and making the assumption that his touch has been nonagressive and nonsexual, he is a "touchy-feely" guy, right? He won't know what your boundaries are unless you tell him.

i think he should have talked to you about it first... meaning, he should have asked you if you were ok with nonsexual touch. It's an error in judement.

he sounds like a caring person, and that he is trying to be reassuring. i am very sorry it's had the opposite effect.

i would do this:

"bob" i have a problem. i skipped appts and i am very anxious because of this.. it's veyr hard to talk about. i am very, very anxious about personal space. It bothers me when you touch me in any way. It makes me very uncomfortable."

you could write this on a letter so that you dont have to say it outloud if you dont want to.

if you are happy with him as a T otherwise then i would give him a chance to work with you about this.. it does not mean you have to get used to him touching you. You might very well open up a productive dialogue about boundaries, etc, and you both may learn a lot.

if you are not happy with him in other ways.. then i wouldn't bother with any of it. i would just tell him my life had other priorites now.