Sorry for the long post. I'm very embarrassed to make this post but this has been going on for so long and I'm in need of reassurance/advice.

I have been dating my current boyfriend for almost one year now. I can't seem to perform any sexual act on him without him getting anxious and losing his erection, and he doesn't usually get a full erection with me to begin with.

He has no problems masturbating by himself, but I have only been able to make him orgasm a total of three times during our entire relationship, two of which were when he was simultaneously pleasuring me.

The other one he claimed he had to "mentally force" to happen, as well.

Last night I gave him a blowjob after making out and he couldn't stay hard. I tried to use some sex toys on him but he completely lost his erection.

He told me that he started to get anxious even while kissing, and I know for a fact he loves making out so this is very discouraging for me.

He often tells me that he goes "numb" and can't feel much when I give him blowjobs and/or handjobs and I think it's because of lack of arousal because I'm confident in myself when it comes to those things.

He does not have any issues pleasuring me at all. It does not make him anxious - quite the opposite. He feels that when I'm doing things to him and he's not in control, he gets anxious.

We suspect he may have had a porn addiction for a while before we got together, which would explain him having become accustomed to his own hand, but I don't know how the anxiety ties into that.

I even had him take one of my Ativan pills to ease his mind before doing things last night but it didn't seem to do a thing.

Intercourse is impossible for this reason and I know it's not his fault but it's so frustrating not being able to have proper sex with my partner, whom I love VERY much.

We're both in our early 20's and I don't feel like these things should be happening at our age.

He's going to schedule an appointment with a sex therapist today to get advice but we have very limited money so he most likely won't be able to see him long-term.

He has seen a doctor and they've told him that he is completely physically normal, to rule out any medical reasons for this.

In the meantime, any reassurance/advice would be very much appreciated, especially if any of you are going through something similar. It would be nice to know I'm not alone in this. It's devastating me.