Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay
My alters do come out in therapy but she says they won't tell her who they are. She has been making a list of the alters that have come up and writes down what we all know about them. But when the alters switch in during therapy she says they won't tell her who they are in person and she needs them to tell her so she can help them. She keeps bringing this up over and over.
It feels like it is too terrifying for them to say who they are. I can talk about them easily and they can talk about each other too, they seem to be happy to talk to her as well, but they don't seem to want or be able to say "I am ____" when they front in therapy and that is what she wants them to do.
Yesterdays session just feels awful on the whole, like I am too resistant and too evasive and too dumb for her to help. I think she might have been feeling frustrated and helpless. As well as being excited about her holiday. I was so triggered at the end of therapy I couldn't even really move and she was yelling my name at me to get me to respond. Then she stood up and made another appointment for me and I said bye and left like a zombie.
I have another appointment in three weeks but I don't feel like going back, it just doesn't feel safe at all.
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I'm so sorry you are experiencing this! I've left my counselor's office before feeling like a zombie too. It's kind of like a dream driving home.
As I've found (or they found me) my parts, they usually don't trust anyone, including me. I don't push and neither does my counselor. My parts are very resistant to "pushing" and can very easily perceive it as being in trouble. If that makes sense. My 12 year old part first saw my counselor as a threat. I heard it very clearly. At my next appointment, I shared with him what the 12yo thought and said. He actually thought it was funny, and we both laughed. The 12yo doesn't see him as a threat anymore. There is actually trust there.
My counselor will ask me a question and if I don't have the ability to give him an answer, he always tells me that it's ok. There is no pressure and we move on. Eventually, the answer usually comes.
I'm sorry that you don't feel safe with her anymore. Maybe if you explain how it makes you feel when she is trying to push you she may understand. She may not know how it is affecting you and how it makes you feel.
