Hi athlete78. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry your therapist(T) is trying to have you go down a certain road that you find difficult.
I cannot know what your T is trying to do, but I am guessing that they may be trying to say, no matter whose fault it is, you can never be free of this until you let go. It does not mean they were right. They probably were not and may not even know what they did wrong. So they may not be able to say "I am sorry" because they cannot see what they did wrong.
I asked myself this question about my troubled childhood: "So how long do I want to hold onto this and postpone living my life?" I finally had enough and said "(expletive removed) I am going on with my life. I am not going to postpone living any longer."
I found this story was describing my existence and I finally had enough
Quote:
There is a story that says in Africa (and India), the natives use a
technique to catch monkeys. They hollow out one end of a coconut and they
put peanuts in there (I've also heard bananas..but same concept). The
monkey puts his hand in the coconut and when he makes a fist to grab the
peanuts, he's trapped. The natives will pull a string attached to the
other end of the coconut and capture the monkey.
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So I finally let go of the banana (my childhood unsettled memories) and moved on with my life.