Quote:
Originally Posted by Artchic528
I'm about to delve into a new relationship. We've decided to wait until Sunday when we'll be on a date to make it official by sealing it with a kiss.
Anyways, he admitted to me he is a huge submissive, and I'm now embarking on being the Dom in the relationship. I find it easy and natural to be the Dom, but since this is going to be my first time, I need some advice. Anyone have any? I've heard things like contracts and a safety word and such. I know what a safety word is but am clueless about contracts. What all do they entail?
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a contract is just where you two sit down and write out what is and isnt allowed. for example someone who has been abused with belts would make sure their fantasy / role playing sex (D/S)does not include being threatened or punished with belts for not submitting. contracts include what each others code words are that puts a halt on the the fantasy/role playing of D/S...
example....
I amandalouse am agreeing to be in the submissive or dom (pick which ever one you choose to be) during the next 4 weeks of sexual relations with----
things I consent to saying, doing and performing....
things I do not consent to saying, doing and performing...
should discipline become an issue I consent to these forms of discipline
should discipline become an issue I do not consent to these forms of discipline
my code word is..... at any time when this code word is used all activities and roll playing will stop.
then the partner adds their side of things...
see what I mean a contract just spells out everything that is expected during the roll playing of D/S activities.
tips never do this with someone you have just met or dont know very very well. it is too easy for things to get out of control when two people havent taken the time to develop long, respectful trustworthy relationships Before I was married I got to know many people that were accidentally harmed by this type of sex life because their partner did not realize their code word was really honest and truly meaning to stop or that they carried the role playing out of the bedroom and into real life and did not understand in NY state that constituted abuse. for me I had a rule that I never enter into any role playing D/s or any other role playing with out at least 6 months of being a committed couple because in order for any sexual roll playing to be successful and not turn into abuse/ domestic violence both parties must be completely ok with each other, trust and respect each other and understand what the laws are in their location regarding sex activities, though america has come a long way many places consider some sex acts to be crimes still even when it involves two consenting persons.