I don't blame you for sticking around so long especially in such a vulnerable time of your life (my deepest apologies for your losses), but just keep in mind your worth. This guy is no good for your self esteem or your general character as you're being made to feel not good enough in situations where you're already going out of your way to be generous. If he doesn't want to hear it, if you're able to get the courage to do so I'd suggest you leave him. This is a time you need support, not attacks from someone that's manipulating you.