Others have done it, many have attempted to do it... so why can't I?

"Haven't you taken enough from me? Won't you torture someone else's sleep?" -TØP, 'Anathema'.

More and more I see only one way to truly be free. See, the pills only work to a degree. I still remain tormented by devils when I'm late in taking the medication. Even when I'm taking it, I can feel the demons prowl the darkness that surrounds my clarity. There's talk of an antidepressant now. What will that do? Put me in the hospital like every time before? Screw that.

I'm so ****ing alone right now. I don't do good alone and I know that but I can't seem to shed the habit. Alone is safe until my mind strangles me into submission. I don't know what to do or where to turn. Anything I've tried before is a temporary fix to my permanent problem.