Sometimes I think I am too weird to live.

So, this was my first week back at work after nearly a month off to deal with psych crap. I was showered with gifts, hugs, and good wishes -- it seemed like every day I came in, somebody had left me a present. My boss, who was the final factor pushing me over the edge, even bought me a bear! (I'll go post this on the other thread, but my name is Candy and I collect bears, OK? There are no hidden clues to my personality in my nick. )

I had a pile of work to do, but I got through most of it. The stuff I was most worried about, the person who did it in my absence followed my weird little system and style and it all went perfectly. I couldn't have asked for a better week.

Tonight I'm going to a small holiday party at the home of my two best friends. I did exceptionally well on their gifts and am excited to give them to them. They're both gourmet cooks, so there's always a TON of amazing food. I haven't gotten to spend time with them in eons, so I've been looking forward to this.

So, I had a great week and I'm about to go have a good time -- SO WHY THE F%$# DO I FEEL LIKE CRAP?!

I mean, I was just sitting here, minding my own business, reading posts, feeling fine, and all of a sudden I got this overwhelmed, anxious feeling and all I could think was,"God, I"m sad." Now I'm all anxious and jittery and I don't know what I'm sad about. I just don't get how it can happen in the blink of an eye.

Geeze -- ya think I need my mood stabilizer upped? I'm still on the every-other-week plan with my pdoc, so I see him Wednesday and will ask him about it then. But for now, instead of being happy and looking forward to the party, I want to go pull the covers over my head and ignore everything. Which might actually not be a bad idea -- it's snowing and there's a winter weather advisory out.

But anyway. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any ideas or suggestions or ever has this huge switch happen to them so suddenly. I wonder if the day will ever come when I won't have nearly constant reminders of the fact that I'm a freakin' nutjob.

Candy