During the last session and todays session i opened up further with my T and told her about my self destructive thoughts, feelings and behaviors, saying i want to feel bad and end it all cause life sucks and i feel trying to die is more rewarding than trying to live. I've already tried to live but i didnt like. Im not normal and the bad things in my life cant be changed.

She said i was irritating her cause im self deceiving and she said if i want to have nothing in life and do nothing good for me and keep hating life and fight against it and follow the path leading me to feel awful and die, THEN FINE, GO AHEAD, ITS YOUR CHOICE.

i felt hurt, angry and theres no point in keep seeing her. Only that im too coward to quit. But really, why should i want to keep seeing her? She hates me, i felt it.

Then she fixed my next appt to wednesday meaning i'll see her only once next week while i was used to seeing her twice a week. She really has enough about me.

Any thoughts? What should i do?