I have found some sparring in therapy to be helpful to me. This works for me because I am not afraid of my T and feel quite safe trying out new moves and taking risks about what I think. It feels like a good workout where I can go further and (sometimes) faster than I could before. Other times it is more like stretching and I become more limber and flexible emotionally.

Sometimes my sparring just looks like opposition, where I say things like "I see it differently" or correct her interpretation of something or make a finer distinction than she seems willing to. Therapy is a place that allows me to be more extreme than perhaps I really am just to try it on and see how it fits me.

So while I might term T as my opponent in this process, it's really more like she is a playmate, as she has no desire to have me be any different than I am in the moment. Sort of like how I play chess with one of my kids when they are learning-- I don't just let them win, but I don't crush them with a checkmate move right away.

I have never felt my T is trying to thwart me in some way, as a true opponent might, or serve her own needs. It seems more like we are on the same team or collaborating on a common goal, which is to allow me to explore whatever I want to. It seems like she is more accompanying me, like a piano does a singer, than playing her own tune.