Do you think there is any way that you could say, "I decided it was a waste of my time." or something like that, end of story?

I agree with the others, though, that if you are having sui thoughts, you don't want to mess around with that! I've had good luck talking with people on the crisis lines. I know some people say they haven't but I have. That's what their focus is and I found them to be sympathetic and helpful in trying to help me find resources or a different outlook on my situation.