Hi, Im kinda new here, I haven't posted anything for some while, and now I just feel so down in the dumps and so confused. Here's a little bit of my background:

I've been diagnosed with depression going on for nearly a year now, due to a 17 yr relationship breakup, and the selling of my house, the pervious year. Not to mention a very mean boss, who couldn't understand my situation which made matters worse. I was taken off of work and the doc put me on 30mg of remeron.

I found that after a while my moods got worse. I would swing from being real happy to very sad or just plain angry at the world. The remeron was adjusted to a lower dose, and things went great for a while. The dose was upped a bit more, and then once again everything was ok, until a few weeks ago. The anger moods are coming back.

Now when I say anger its more like a violent rage feeling that just keeps growing inside of me until "something" triggers it and I completely flip! Like I did last night.

Now last night should have been a very good night for me because since my depression I have taken up acrylic painting again and had set a goal for myself, which was to enter an exhibition. Well, I'm happy to say that I was very succefull, out of 44 artists they chose 8, and I was one of those 8, which was for violence against women. Now last night was a beautiful night of the vernissage, I met all the other artists and had a great time. BF and I went out for supper later to celebrate my success. It was nice until we got home. I went competley nuts, about some way he had looked at another woman......ya I know....but the anger/rage was building up. The night ended in a huge arguement, that honestly toward the end I did't even know what we were fighting about anymore, because words were just flying. I cried, I threw things, I fought as if my life depended on it. Finally exhausted I fell asleep, very depressed and alone, with contemplating thoughts.

This morning I went to the clinic because I still had the same feeling, and explaind the anger/rage/confusion etc... to the doc. Her respons to me was: Well Im not your practicing doctor, you should see him. Well that I do understand, but I am 30 minutes away from him, and the clinic is only a two minute walk from my place, which was a kind of refuge for me. Well two hours later, I walked out with a phone number for a psych. I will be calling there on Monday to make an appointment. The doc who saw me said that there's a possibility that I may be bipolar. Well that did come as a bit of a relief.

Im just wondering if there's anyone else that has experienced this type of anger/rage feeling. And thanks for taking the time to read my post. Venting always feels so good.