Thanks again everyone for answering and caring. i feel better about it today.

I dont like it, but my parents are paying my T cause i didnt have a job and enough money to pay her myself, so they obviously have to know if i quit T. also, if i quit, i can easily see my T calling my parents or my parents calling my T and talk about whats going on with me and i dont want that.

i think i'll cancel next appt - my way to show im angry and hurt - but then go back the next week. but i'll never go back to the self destructive subject.

yes, i think "frustrated" is the best word to describe how my T must feel about me. i did quit meds before in order to feel bad and it worked so im doing it again now. i dont have a pdoc, but anyway i dont feel like telling anyone what im doing anymore.

i think my T does DBT, but im not sure. and i have never heard about the drama triangle. i'll look it up. i dont think she has a supervisor.

i have tried crisis lines in the past but they didnt help a bit. so im not going to try again. i dont feel like talking with anyone anymore. i dont want to feel im bad, wrong or twisted and rejected again. im helpless and hopeless, i know it, i dont need anyone telling me that.