Was wanting to keep it light but I suppose I asked for it since PC is all about diagnosing/admitting what is really going on.

The teasing doesn't bother me because I have been teased my entire life for doing impulsive/absentminded things and learned to laugh at myself at a very young age (since middle school--perhaps even earlier). For example, on the 2nd date with H, I met him after work at his townhome (his was next to the base, mine across town). When I parked in front of his garage door, I had left the parking brake off (it was stick shift). While talking to H inside, we heard a loud noise and wondered, "What's that?" Soon, the neighbor knocks on the door. My car had rolled into the neighbor's garage door and trashed it. H was very understanding about this.

H has a very sweet heart but can be a bully when he feels threatened. When things get rough, he fights for the people he loves. As far as feeling like an equal goes, not always but having done more self reflection since my attempt--I understand myself better and feel a lot better about myself. I am getting better about setting boundaries. I learned it here and through my T. I went to a T for the first time in October 2015. My H has a few narcissistic qualities but many people do. I am hardly perfect myself.

I have been married nearly 30 years and have had both good and bad times with him. We are dependent in many ways including financially. Having considered divorce earlier this year, I have made the decision to stay and make it work. It really would be hard for me to leave him. Yes, the feelings of love have been all over the map during the last 30 years but I have no one else in my life whom I have shared so much with and we have shared some wonderful adventures together. For good and bad, we are committed to each other.