Thought so. But I think I've already made a rash decision last night when I messaged them "Psychologist XY seems to know more about you than you yourself do." (because he doesn't know he's schizoid) in a random fit of anger and helplessness. Of course they now want to know, but also wondered "why i worded it as if I wanted to piss them off", which I didn't. Not like that. I just wanted to feel power over them for a change, just a little. Immediatly regretted it though and now I don't know what to do. I'm so naive sometimes, I don't even get it.

Probably none, I just want to.. somewhat prove that I'm not worthless, a failure etc. That's what both they and my father made me feel like, so.. when it comes to people like them, I feel like I need to show I'm not useless to make myself feel better.