I did some impulsive things this week. I contacted someone who is bad for me, and I'm not interested in. I was lonely. It was someone I dated a while back. He was a total jerk. Then, and now. Yesterday, he acted all sweet, and then got angry when I wouldn't have phone sex with him, and told me to never contact him again. At first, I respected that. But then I was upset, and hurt, and texted him this morning, and then blocked him. Its like I took an entire years worth of pain and rejection from others, and threw it at him. I reread what I wrote, and it's very...heavy handed. It's true, too. But I called him a loser, and I wish I hadn't stooped to name calling. I don't want to be that kind of person. I thought it would make me feel better. But I feel bad still, because I was unkind to someone. I was an asshole. I hope that nothing is seriously wrong with me. I feel terrible. He did deserve some of it. But I regret it too, and wish I'd just left well enough alone. I don't feel like I can apologize to him. I'm scared of him now, more than ever, because of what I said to him, and have never trusted him.