The thing I will point out is you never know what will come into an addicts life that makes them want to change. It might be a girlfriend, friend, having a child, a job, a mental health professional, the kindness of a stranger. It could be anything. The addict I have in my life now....well it's worth it to me to have this person in my life. I love them that much and I'd be more destroyed losing them so the choice is easy. Leaving them be and not being compassionate towards them has been recommended to me but I just can not do it. I always wish for someone to come into my addicts life to show them love, kindness and that there is more to life than drugs. They are worth the effort it would take and people who would run the other direction aren't always the nicest or best people either. It's a pretty tough thing since I'm on both sides. I bet you there are many men and women who have ended relationships with an addict and later saw them doing far better than they themselves turned out and go "boy, I really let that one get away". There are also a lot of people who stayed and wish they didn't. So it's complicated. I don't think I'd end a relationship over a few recreational Xanax but if the person was stealing from me, pissing in my closets, wrecking my car, needing to be bailed out from jail constantly, abusive....then I would certainly leave. Some people use the term addiction too loosely. When I left, I had damned good reason and I wouldn't have done it for occasional use. My husband is a diabetic who loves and used to live on sweets and would get horribly angry if I tried to suggest he not. That was not good enough reason to leave him and as I said before, I see addiction as a legitimate illness. This topic hits close to home right now....actually my whole life has been spent taking care of addicts. I'm sorry I'm contributing so much.