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Originally Posted by sinking
Thanks again everyone for answering and caring. i feel better about it today.
I dont like it, but my parents are paying my T cause i didnt have a job and enough money to pay her myself, so they obviously have to know if i quit T. also, if i quit, i can easily see my T calling my parents or my parents calling my T and talk about whats going on with me and i dont want that.
i think i'll cancel next appt - my way to show im angry and hurt - but then go back the next week. but i'll never go back to the self destructive subject.
yes, i think "frustrated" is the best word to describe how my T must feel about me. i did quit meds before in order to feel bad and it worked so im doing it again now. i dont have a pdoc, but anyway i dont feel like telling anyone what im doing anymore.
i think my T does DBT, but im not sure. and i have never heard about the drama triangle. i'll look it up. i dont think she has a supervisor.
i have tried crisis lines in the past but they didnt help a bit. so im not going to try again. i dont feel like talking with anyone anymore. i dont want to feel im bad, wrong or twisted and rejected again. im helpless and hopeless, i know it, i dont need anyone telling me that.
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I'm really worried about you staying in a bad situation that isn't helping you. Yes quiting your meds isn't ideal, but I truly wonder if you did that because you are having some issues with your T. Quiting meds might be a sign that things are not working well for you in T. If you had acted out in that way and you T was the kind of T who was receptive I wouldn't worry so much. But it scares me that you are possibly getting upset going off meds, and not having a solid T to fall back on.
Do you think that you could tell your parents that things with you and your T just aren't working out for you. If you need to tell them something about that you can just say that there is a personality clash. I really don't think your T can tell them very much. It's generally broadly unethical to do so.
You could just tell your parents that you want to try a different kind of therapy, or a new therapist. If you need something substantial to tell them you can always tell them that the research shows that the best predictor of the outcome in therapy is the overall success in the relationship. In other words if you and the T don't get along the research shows that the therapy won't work.