I am avoidant. I daydream a lot. Most of my life is lived in my head. I have never done well socially. I am not good looking and have been the victim of socially ostracized for a long as I can remember. I rarely smile. There is nothing to smile about. Extensive therapy has not helped at all.

In the last several I developed severe C-PTSD. It just grows worse and worse. I have never really been able to get people to like me -- even my parents were not fond of me though I tried and tried for approval. Some people have been very cruel to me and it keeps happening over and over. My only comfort is when I retreat to my own thoughts and inner world. But, even then, when the C-PTSD affects me, there is no peace either. I now totally isolate from all but family. I don't even try to socialize and no longer volunteer either having had bad experiences. I don't know what to do about it. Therapy has been a disaster with even some T's tormenting me. Often, I feel that I am avoidant because I have to be.