My husband is a triathlete. It means a LOT to him and I fully support it. We both have CPTSD, unfortunately, neither of us are in therapy right now, though I KNOW we need to be.

He had a full distance race today, he wanted to do it alone, so the kids and I stayed at home about 2 hours away. He wanted to complete this race to feel "good enough". He left the Marine Corps when he was 19, just long enough to do basic training. He didn't graduate, he has horrible memories from that, too. This race was supposed to be his redemption. He's done a 1/2 distance Ironman before. He did great!!

This race was ALL he thought about since he signed up for it, months ago. He texted me that he didn't want to talk, that he didn't finish, he got too cold on the swim. I'm so scared for when he gets home, not that he'll be abusive or anything, but just that he will completely withdraw again. That he will shut down again and push me away. I don't CARE if he's a triathlete. I care because he does, but that has no bearing on whether he's "good enough" to me. I'm at such a loss right now.