It has been almost 5 years since I last SH or had any suicidal thoughts. Ever since I got pregnant with my son and I have been really proud of myself for it and mostly happy. About 8 months ago a lot of things have changed drastically and I have been having a really difficult time managing my depression and anxiety and dealing with life in general. Most days I feel like I've completely shut down and can't get anything productive done, I don't even feel like getting out of bed. I'm tired all the time and have no energy or motivation. I haven't been playing with my son like I used to, our apartment​ is messy all the time as I find it hard to keep up with cleaning. We don't get out of the house much I think mostly because we moved to a new city where nothing is familiar and my anxiety gets the better of me. My husband who 5 years ago was really supportive and a huge help getting me through feeling this way back then..isn't quite the same he was then. He gets annoyed with me a lot and doesn't seem to notice or care when I'm upset. Sometimes I feel invisible and unimportant. Sometimes I feel like I'm not needed and what's the point.. after 5 long years of being SH free I've been having urges to do it again and its getting harder to stop myself...I don't want to relapse after doing well for so long. I don't know what to do though I have no support no one to talk to.