Thanks, growly and artemis. Also thanks for the hugs! I realize I am going out of my comfort zone by changing my whole perspective. I don't think I can change wanting what I can't get from T; I have to accept that I can't get it from her or any other T. Or any other person except myself.

I know I'm repeating myself and posting a lot in my own threads, but it is helping me to keep on the path I've chosen.