How to get this all across? Written comunication can afford you to get it all out without getting hurt or interrupted and without appearing as vulnerable...yet without an online connection.....what about snail mail? It still exists, am i right? You could really write it all out....

I struggle with forgiving too...when to, when no to, and to me, there are 2 wonderful points brought up in this thread......

1) Salukigirl.."Everyone has their own period of healing time.....

You may need.....TIME!!! I've been in a terrible, terrible fight with my own mother and the more time passes, and the more I dream at night and unconscientiously unwind, I find, yes, time helps!! You can allot an amount of time without contact to make sense of it all and find your inner bearings.....

2) Curley..You can decide if AND HOW the friendship will comtinue....perhaps only you will get together and do something distracting like go to a movie then you can discuss the movie its bigger and smaller issues...perhaps you will just talk on the phone without seeing each other in person....perhaps you can accompany her to a mental health clinic or center or hotline if that is her issue her mental health or is it's physical then to a clinic to the according health issue..perhaps you can just get together in a group....there are limitless ways YOU can define the HOW in the relationship...

write us again, Impala.....this thread is helping me, too, I hope it helps everyone who reads it and struggles with forgiveness and assertiveness...