Im not going to therapy tomorrow... What is the point.... I don't think she has helped me with any things...
Im trying to think of something she has helped me with...
But I can't....
She just says that I can go to the hospital... What good is that going to do me.,..
Im trying to talk to you about my problems and make them better not go to the hospital every time I say something...
Im tired...
I just want to get better....
Why has no one been able to help me...
What is wrong with me... I don't even care anymore... I just want to get better...
She just is not able to help me I think....
Maybe no one can help me....
Do you know what it's like wanting to tell that you just want to kill your self...? Just to make it stop...
Im so lost and alone,... Just want a friend who is able to understand, don't have to help, just understand...

I just don't know how much more I can go on like this...
Alone...
I've always been so alone 😞

Maybe I want to be alone 😞
Maybe I want to be in pain....
But I have been trying hard for years to change this ****.,...
Im tired of being lonely and tired of being in pain and tired of bein like this....

Why do I fail so bad.,...
Why do I seem so cursed....
I was born into this ****.. I didn't ask for any of these things... But no matter how hard I fight I can't change it...? Why....
Anxiety... Depression.... Pain... Grief..... Despair....

I have always tried to be positive... Happy, around others... Hide my misery.... My pain is hidden, secret...
Yet it haunts me... And I get no breaks...
I am having a hard time hiding it any more....
It's consuming me... Why....
I can't even get the break in-between, the lies, the fake smiles, I just want to....😢

Im hurting so deeply...What did this therapist do to me...
I wasn't so bad until I started seeing her...

At least I was able to enjoy fake smiles laughs drink and talk to people... I didn't hate myself and want to kill me....

Or am I just finding another excuse... Something, someone else to blame...

I want to give up so bad.... 27 years of these experiences is enough....