Have you ever feel like you're wasting your life? Like you're nothing, but a deliberate loser?

I've been feeling like this for a long time. I'm the most ****ing useless piece of **** out of all human beings because of extremely dumb mistakes I've made. I remember how this **** started. I was going through extreme self-consciousnesses and anxiety that began to ruin my grades, my relationships and my identity. I tried to cope with it, but pretty much failed every day ( I knew I should have ignored all the ****** thoughts, accepted myself and stopped being selfish, so I had the right way...) Now, there's no more of that ********, but I know I'm a total zero. My potential is being just thrown out of the window and my brain literally hurts because it just hasn't been challenged for so long. I'm not even communicating with my friends anymore and my grades are screwed. I feel like doing nothing and I'm wasting whole days being on the internet and doing things I don't even enjoy. The most horrifying thing is that I'm totally ok with wasting all this time, despite the consequences. That's pretty dumb... I totally don't care about anything, even my basic needs and being kind of a self-destructive 0. Have any of you been in that crap? Did you get out and become successful later in life?