response to first question......

My... T.... is very quiet spoken all of the time...

he would say.. " I can see you are having a really hard time with this... I am so sorry.... let's see if there is something that we can do to help make it better. I know this is very painful.... let's see if talking about it.. will help..."

then... if I can't talk...

he always has a very caring face... one that shows that he is right there with you.... (some of the T's I have had.. I have felt like they are thinking about their dinner plans)....

he says"..... sometimes... things are just too painful.. and crying is good... it helps to release some of the pain"...

then... he waits awhile... and you can actually see him thinking... of another approach..

this alone makes me feel better... cause he cares enough not to give up on trying to help me...

then " he will bring up the issue himself... and say XYZ.... is the reason you are hurting.. and lets take a look at it"..