Thank you 3 so much for the replies and encouragement!

About a week after posting this, I managed to find a psychologist who actually seemed like the best bet out of those my insurance covered. Their site didn't have much detail but did mention testing for "developmental disabilities" among other things and say they counseled adults and children, so I kind of hoped for the best and made an appointment. I went for an hour long initial appointment last week. Toward the beginning he asked why I believed I might be autistic but I froze somewhat and only gave a bit of jumbled explanation. We moved on to talking about general psych and life history stuff before I ever specifically asked, "do you officially diagnose autism in adults," but I got the feeling he did. We got back to autism later and without me even having mentioned it or said much he started talking about how autism was believed to be under recognized in women and many thought the symptoms could present differently...if I hadn't been feeling so detached and anxious, I probably would have been so ecstatic I'd screamed, haha. After stories I'd heard, I was nervous about even mentioning adult diagnosis to a psychologist, much less the whole gender difference thing, for fear of being waved off, and he seemed to be knowledgeable and believe it on his own. So to me, that was the really good sign I needed.

I now have a second appointment, unfortunately a month away, but I'm not even entirely sure exactly what it's going to be for. During the assessment he mentioned that I'll definitely do an IQ test and be tested for verbal something or other and a few other things before moving on to others, and I think at least some of it is specifically related to autism evaluation, so I guess he is going to really carry through with that? I don't know why some tiny part of me is hesitant and afraid he's just humoring me, since he wasn't super clear on things, didn't specifically mention actual autism diagnosis much, and did at one or two points say something about diagnosis occasionally being an unnecessary label for some people. I know that it's probably a plan as we go sort of thing where the next steps depend on how each test goes, but it makes me nervous that he didn't explain very far into the process, and he'd mentioned counseling for my depression and continuing a general evaluation so the fact that he requested a follow up doesn't necessarily mean he's mainly focusing more on the autism thing. I'm absolutely open for any testing (especially since he's experienced with ADHD and I think ADHD-PI is a tiny possibility for me) but I just hope there's going to be a legitimate, thorough focus on the autism thing through it all.

At the end of the appointment I gave him the 4 pages of notes I'd brought along since I knew I hadn't covered a lot of it and he wanted to make copies to keep and look at, so I'm hoping that'll help explain and give him more necessary info. I'd just quickly typed them at the last minute though, and am afraid they don't explain things that well. I'm also kind of upset that I purposely left out any points related to anything "unofficial" I've read about women-specific symptoms (which makes up a lot of my reasoning and suspicions) since I thought it'd annoy a doctor, when he would have taken that legitimately after all.

Sorry this is rambly and badly-written, I'm tired right now and just full of nerves about this whole thing, ha.

BriarWolf86, your detailed response was so helpful and calmed my nerves since things felt a little less unpredictable. I really appreciate it, and I definitely might be back with questions at some point.
Thanks again!