As it seems i am going IP for depression and trauma issues. Falling in love and not getting just the emotional response i wished for seems to have triggered all my childhood memories of neglection and lonelyness and sent me into a heavy depression. I tried to deal with it my way and drank and drugged myself through the weekend. I feel so ashamed of being such a failure, both because of my incapacity of dealing with feelings and my way to not deal with them by escaping into drugs and alcohol. So now i am in hospital waiting to talk to a psych doc to send me IP. Cannot stay at home alone this way.