the "specialness" comes from her childhood.. being an uncaring, completely dysfunctional family.. she dreamt of getting out by becoming something big, famous... like world famous. Somehow in there it got knotted up. Now she makes sure her drawings are signed so that fakes can't be made.. afterall, her "fans" want the real thing. Fans. yeah. It;s so sad sometimes it's heart breaking.. and other times that very same idea tears something apart and drives you nuts.

i've just got to stop i guess. i'm driving myself crazy. i just cant help it.. it all seems to damn obvious, you just want her to just *see* it. Then you get caught in the reality/not reality trap... before you know it you're up to your neck in confusion.

sorry to ramble... i'm trying hard with my T to regain my sense of reality, to be able to tell when someone else's version isn't quite right.