husband apologized this morning, admitted he was exhausted and lost control. He's recently stopped smoking marijuana, which he was lately heavily using to escape emotions, and sedate himself. Now, all his avoided stuff has been making its way out. Being sober, his anger can now have a chance to be dealt with in a healthy way. He knows it's not our family causing him anger...he knows it's his past, his insecurity, his recent disowning of his father, and a couple strained relationships that remain from his original family. When he acts out, it's unattractive and unacceptable. Plus, he is a big guy, and looks scary with his posture and evil eyes. In those moments, his goal is to intimidate and dominate..control. I spent over a decade kissing his butt while trying to solve our dysfunction. There has been much progress, but when the triggered anger shows up, it seems like all is lost.

Now it can be plainly said that we were modeled dysfunctional, dangerous relationships by our parents, and we were parented abusively (and lovingly sometimes, so confusing). our parents were very abused by their parents. And so on. Obviously we are trying to break the cycle.

i would never never tolerate now what I tolerated years ago. Now, I won't tolerate any level of someone putting their baggage on me or the kids.