elevated Soul I'm going to be honest and a bit blunt here... i know you have been waiting for people to reply to your posts and I am probably one of them because you look to me for my support and information on dissociative disorders, and i try to be there for you...

I have been purposely not posting any more information on dissociative disorders because i know part of this struggle you are having is because of all the research you have been doing on dissociative problems. its better that you get your questions answered by your treatment providers.

I have also been purposely not posting or reading your posts and threads, i rarely read your posts/ threads anymore because they do tug at my heart and i would love to help you but my help isnt what you need.

i cant fix you, I cant make you stop drinking, I cant make you stop self injuring, I cant make you stop doing drugs, I cant make you stay in therapy, I cant make you follow your treatment plans, I cant make you accept the help of your treatment providers referring you to a specialist and accept your treatment providers help in getting your SSI.

What I do see in your posts is someone who has help available to them...

you have posted your case manager and therapist are helping you get your SSI
you have posted your case manager and therapist are helping you to get referred to a specialist
you have posted about going inpatient to get free of the drugs, alcohol and got your new diagnosis's

I also see in your posts that

you have chosen to throw away your inpatient work by going back to drinking and doing drugs
you have chosen to drop out of therapy and not be referred to a specialist

and I see in your posts that you say you need our help because you are in so much pain, suicidal, self injuring, doing drugs and alcohol. Im sorry as a psych central member I cant help with any of this. Psych central is not a therapy group, where members can work on helping each other not do drugs and alcohol (a great group for this is AA ) help each other not be suicidal or self injuring or in mental pain (thats called inpatient care or a therapist off the computers job)

I think of psych central like getting together with a friend over coffee in a stabucks restaurant. we tell jokes, share a bit about our lives and problems but each person is responsible for making their own life to be what they want it to be.

my point is I cant help you in the ways that you are looking for help, and making a guess here I dont think anyone on psych central is going to be able to give you the kind of help that you are looking for.

from reading your past posts I can see you already know how and what you need to do in order for you to get better and have a better life. its up to you whether or not you choose to do drugs, alcohol, self injure or suicide. whether or not you choose to continue with getting your SSI and a specialist, or whether you get in touch with your treatment providers who can help you with these things.

all we can do here is read your posts and protect our own hearts when needed and accept that there is a limit to how much we can help each other here.