In the beginning of May when my brother came home, I had thoughts of suicide. I realized now that these thoughts have never gone away and they are not passive thoughts. I'm scared to tell anyone, especially my pdoc. My body rejects most new meds, but there is one antidepressant I took that seemed to settle well. What will my pdoc do if I mention suicidal thoughts? I'm scared of going back to the hospital. I don't want to go there and I don't think it's so urgent that I have to. I just don't know what to do and I'm scared.