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Old May 23, 2017, 12:05 AM
Olive303 Olive303 is offline
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Member Since: May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by cielpur View Post
Chronically angry people develop what's called "negative neuroplasticity." What it is, is the negative person has trained their brain to respond negatively (in anger) to everything happening in their life. They think, feel, and react in anger (sometimes paranoid rage) to everything, no matter what it is. Generally, people like this overreact a lot, are easily triggered into anger, have major trust issues, and are suspicious of everyone (which they have a hard time admitting to their relationship partner).

Also, people with anger issues are extremely charming and manipulative. Calm on the surface until an explosion of anger erupts, and then they go into silent treatment mode to punish the target of their anger. I know this, because the last significant relationship I had was with a guy who loved to use the silent treatment with me whenever he was angry at me; as a way to emotionally abuse and manipulate me.

Brain science is interesting in what it can reveal about why people think and act the way that they do.

It sounds like your boyfriend needs some help controlling his anger. And, I hate to say this, but it's very naive of you to think that your boyfriend's anger will never escalate to the point where he won't physically harm you.

You need to evaluate this relationship, to see if it brings you any benefits emotionally and psychologically. Living with someone who has chronic anger problems, is akin to walking on eggshells constantly because anger issues, left unchecked, are a form of abuse. That may be hard for you to accept and digest. But anger issues are tied to deeper psychological problems in the person.

Thank you for your insight on anger and sharing your own personal experiences with an angry partner. It allowed me some clarity on what anger looks like and why it exists.

I wonder if you could provide any insight on different levels and extremes of anger. From what I have seen in the three years I have been with my boyfriend and one year we have lived together he does not fit the bill as someone who responds to every negative or stressful life event with anger. We have had a lot of external stressors in our time together and I would say he is angry 0-1 times per month.

You mentioned that it could get to the point where he could physically harm me. Does this mean to say that every person that struggles with anger has the potential to harm their partner physically? How can one know the difference between a partner with a temper and someone who is physically abusive? Or do all angry people have it in them to physically abuse? This worrys me deeply.

Thank you in advance if you choose to take the time to answer my questions.
Hugs from:
Bill3