I am having nightmares. I start as a happy new mom, then suddenly something happens. Something goes wrong.

I had "planned" this month to be the time when I "go". I thought I had fought this and realized that this is not the answer. But the urges are back and strong.

I am trying so hard not to do anything I will regret. The SI is screaming for me. I think I am punishing myself because of my baby. And not sure how to deal with this.

Justy