no flames... honest.

has the email access been set up as a way to relay urgent things.. like the way i have phone access when i really need my T? or has it been set up as a email-therapy thing? If it hasn't been set up as "extra therapy" then you really can't expect replies to things that aren't urgent. It isn't fair to her right? i mean, she gets paid to do the hour and anything beyond that is up to them, it's their time then.

look, i have a problem of wanting to call T a lot.. but i know it's not appropriate, helpful or good for me... much less being more work for him. So i have this arrangement... he is ok with me leaving messages to my heart's content that dont ask for a return call... and when i really need him he will call back if i ask.

can you do that? can you write letters to her and specifically tell her and yoursefl that you don't need a reply?

the problem is that these needs.. the need to call, the need to email, the need for a response, the need for certain words... need need need... i do it too... they dont go away once you get what you want.. you want it again almost right away.

the only criticism i have of your T is that she replies occasionally.. it's worse really. If you want to train a person to do something you dont reward them everytime, you reward randomly.. like a lotto. i'm sure she meant well.

so, if you understand that this is a problem... you have a good feel for the issue.. then you need to act on it. What could you do differently? You could tell your T exactly what you just told us.. in person, not email You could make an arrangement like i said, and you would only ask for a reply if it were truly urgent, otherwise she would not reply. You could start exploring why you cant accept the things you want when she does give them, why do you need them again and again? That isn't criticism, it's just a suggestion as to something to explore. i mean, if you asked yourself, how much would you need to get from her before you would stop feeling this pressing need... what would that answer look like? WHy?

i hope you figure out a way to calm yourself and feel ok.