I'm so sorry Wander....please take care. We are here if you need us Hun.

This morning started off pretty good but has rounded itself into a very horrible evening. There is so much awfulness going on....so much I can't talk about, even here, even anonymously. I confided something important to my friend and even she says it's a terrible situation I need to be careful not to tell people or they will think badly of someone I love. I think I need to go back to my out of pocket therapist and get her take on things. I feel so lost, hopeless and stuck. There is nothing I can do to make things better and I can't live like this. I'm being eaten alive....I get a few good days, just so the crash hurts more. I hope this is just a bad day and I will gain better perspective tomorrow but that seems impossible. I might never get better....this might truly be it. I can't live in this pain and torment, I simply can't....and I don't think it's fair, but when did fair have anything to do with anything in this forsaken world anyways. People who believe in fairness are fools who will spend their lives disappointed. Sorry for my negativity....I have no place to go with all this and I can't even talk about what I really need to talk about so I feel so pointless.