Something has changed in me. For a while now I have been hiding again. I had started to be social and hang out while my roommate was here but he took off for a week. Things changed during that week and even he can see that. He sees it in my eyes that I'm dead inside and I've fallen deeper into myself and I'm having trouble getting out. I'm calling out but my friends don't see it. All they see is me hiding in my shell again, listening to sad music. It's all I can handle right now. I can't seem to stand happy music. I can't stand the silence now that I'm alone and I can't stand the pain now that I've been abandoned by another person that broke down my walls. Its the same every time. Someone comes along and breaks down the walls I build to keep myself from feeling pain and then takes off when they find someone better to be around. Nobody ever just wants to stay and be my friend, they just want to use me for what ever they can until the next person comes around. It's always like that. So I'm gonna just forget about ever having a true friend. I never will be happy with myself and nobody will ever care enough to stick around so what's the point anymore.