After some quick searching, I found this information online about anger levels:

Indignation = self-righteous anger (the person always believes they're right and everyone else is wrong)

Sulking = passive-aggressive anger (the person is so angry, that they refuse to act; no one can make them do what they don't want to do)

Exasperation = anger response (the person's patience has been tested to the point it breaks)

Revenge = anger response (a deliberate response to a perceived offense)

Would you say that your boyfriend has a bad temper in general? Does he explode his anger after holding it in? Doesn't matter how many times he's angry, as much as how he expresses his anger, that can pose a problem to both himself and to you, etc.

But from what you've written, it sounds like your family was racist against your boyfriend because he's a different race, so they judged him, and took a year before they'd accept him. Is that correct?

Your first few posts, maybe I misread them (I think), because it came across to me, that you fear your boyfriend's angry outbursts. If your boyfriend was even tempered, I wouldn't think you'd post a worrisome thread about his anger issues. That's why I interpreted your thread as seeking help to understand what causes your boyfriend's angry outbursts.

Some anger is healthy, as long as its expressed in a healthy way:

1. Use "I" statements "I feel angry when," and "It hurts my feelings when..."
2. Don't hold in your anger
3. Don't express your anger aggressively (break things, physically harm another person)
4. Be able to identify what triggers your anger and discuss it with the person who triggers it
5. Focus on yourself, and what triggers your anger, instead of blaming the other person for making you angry

How does your boyfriend express his anger? Does he shout? Blame? Throw things? Scream than sulk silently? How would you describe the way your boyfriend expresses his anger?

There is a difference certainly, between someone with a temper, and someone who is physically abusive. There is a fine line between the two different styles of anger.

How does your family factor in to your relationship with your boyfriend now that they've known him for two years? Is he easily triggered by their words and behavior? How does he perceive them? You describe them as overbearing, and you describe yourself as having (enmeshed) boundary issues, because you let them control some of your life's decisions for you. Do you think the way your family treats you, plays a role in your boyfriend's anger (if he has any) towards your family?

The only reason I mentioned how anger can evolve to physical abuse, is because physical abuse is a physical expression of rage that the physically abusive person feels. But if your boyfriend doesn't fit that profile, then you have nothing to worry about. Now, if he sulks silently after an argument with you, you can choose to adapt to the way he chooses to express and process his anger that way, or you can ask him to get help learning how to express his anger differently.

My ex-boyfriend refused to change the way he expressed his anger. I'd ask him to discuss what I did to make him angry, and he would just refuse to. He preferred to disappear, sulk for days, and then would suddenly become available again to me, acting as if nothing happened. It was intolerable because it was like living with an adult toddler who chose temper tantrums over reasonable discussion. Worst, it was a form of emotional abuse (his need to control and to manipulate me). I can't date men who choose to express their anger in the form of silent treatments and sulking. That's my preference, because I find it to be very immature. So it's up to you to decide if your boyfriend's period of silent treatment and sulking after he gets angry, is something you can put up with, or not.