Hi shockedsilence. Welcome to Psych Central. I am deeply sorry to hear of the divorce and financial avoidance of your ex. It must have been traumatic to lose your dad. I am still grieving over 6 months after my own dad's death.

No matter how bad a mother you judge yourself to be, to your children you are still mother. I know of a child that lost their dad and potty training was very difficult and extended. If you help feed them and take care of them you are being a good mother. You do not have to be perfect. Your children are clinging because their world view has fallen apart. That is not your fault. They still love you and need you so long as you can take care of them.

What help can you get to deal with your own depression and emptiness? It could be a therapist or a woman's support group. There are options out there for all of us, but we must pick up the phone and call.

Another area that might be helpful if your ex has a job or resources that could be garnished to force compliance with childcare. There may be free legal services that can offer you a lawyer. Texas Child Support Garnishment Limits, Exemptions and Protections

This article talks more about child support. If there is a court order and they are violating that, the court will step into to help enforce the court order. http://texaslawhelp.org/resource/ans...d-support-in-t

Feel free to reply to this post or send me a private message.