Years back, I wasn't aware of why I struggled with depression and anxiety and I would fear my mother's death. Now within the past year, the truth about my family has come out. I'm learning to save money to leave and it's psychological torture. I have nightmares now of my family saying they never cared about me and didn't want me to be born. And then after the nightmares, I'm still stuck here.
Growing up I thought I lived in a normal household and that by default my mother cared about me. But ever since 2016 I'm realizing both of my parents never cared about me. AND THIS IS A SCARY ****ING THOUGHT BUT IT'S BECOME MY NEW REALITY. I know I realize I could be loved and validated by random strangers because I lacked it in my life.
We got a cat about a month ago. Because the sibling was so dirty rodents came into the kitchen. Now the rat is gone but the cat is still here. And I've grown a bond with the cat, who is loyal unlike my own family members WOW. But now my mother sees that the cat lowers my anxiety & the ***** comes up with excuses that cat should go back to the shelter and be euthanized because she scratched up the couch. The ***** should've put plastic in the first place.
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