Maybe you can impress upon your brother the Buddhist(?) saying, "How you do anything, is how you do everything." If he expects to be a respectful loving partner to his spouse sooner or later in life, he needs to start practicing that attitude asap. Right now he shows himself to be petty. What he said to his friend on the phone was not something he would have said about his wife or his own children. Or waiting until you leave the room to ask you a question - that is also rude (my 2nd husband corrected me on that one!). So it is past time for all 3 of you to become gentlemen - i hope it is not too late!