on my life journey I have learned many things ... of course I have much more to learn ...

Today I am 100% complient ... and I expect ( plan ) to stay that way ...
the constand tweeking of my meds has caused nothing but issues and not in a positive way ...
my belief was that my "meds" were causing all my problems and if I got completely off them I
would be better ... time after time I went thru this cycle ... I speak for no one but myself when I
say enough already ...

I feel better now than I have in a very long time (years) ... am I happy .. no .. am I issue free .. no ... do I feel complete as a man .. no ... as a father .. no ... as a husband .. no ..

However ... other than short term memory loss ... constant flashbacks of memories from 30
years ago ... and a constant case of the "giggles" ... ( you know ... very slight hypo) ...
I am content to be this way ... will it get better .. worst .. IDK ... but it will not be because of me
messing with my meds ... it is not me giving up it is me becoming content ... for me that is
enough ... it will be five years in Nov since my involuntary IP ... and I have hurt myself over and
over the whole time ... enough is enough ...

I would never try to tell another how to live there life ... but I really believe if you find that
"working" cocktail ... being content and just accepting life as it is ... is not such a bad choice ...
at least from my view 5 years down the road ...

Of course as I set here listening to kpop ... I know I am crazy as hell ... but I am content to be
that way ... with Love ... and Peace to all ... ( a contented .. Tigger. )

ps: sorry to anyone I have posted a strange or disjointed coment to ... not really all here ..
but I am content to be that way ... it really is making a positive change in the way I see the
world and my place in it ...

I Love you Soonkyu ..