One year ago, I was going to therapy a lot but I journal here instead.

I have only had one panic attacks this year (It was in the morning after a dream). One year ago I would have them driving, at the grocery store, during my walks with H, and in the morning when I had bad dreams.

Yesterday, during a walk a car was coming and H and I started retreating to the opposite sides of the rode. So I change course and said with a lot of emphasis, "I'm following you!" H says, "You are a very sexy woman." and I say, "I know!" That is great progress for me because about a year ago when a car was coming H pushed me to the side of the rode and I had a huge breakdown. I refused to take any further steps. I had been reading here about narcissist abuse and I saw the push as a huge red flag. Of course, in reality, it was a combination of H being protective of me, the fact that we had already been arguing during that walk, plus I had been having panic attacks. I have recovered so much from the state I was in one year ago. I am so grateful that I have improved.....