If you don't mind me asking what was it that helped you manage and express your anger better? How long did it take to get there?

Therapy, particularly practicing emotional regulation and mindfulness which I learned in DBT

His anger upsets me because of his behavior. The fact that he gives me the silent treatment. While I do take responsibility for things that I do that may upset him I do not take responsibility for his behavioral response. Meaning to say that when you are with someone for years and love them they are bound to upset you at times. It is how it is expressed that makes the difference.

This needs to be discussed with him, find out why this is his "go to" response and explain how it affects you. It may also help to find out if he is just sulking in silence or actively ignoring you. Both suck, but at least the latter is not directed at you.

For the most part his anger is something that I wonder about long term. How will this affect me in adult hood? Or if we bring children into the picture, buying a house, paying bills together, etc.

My daughter is exactly why I sought help, I started scaring my own kid Not something I am even remotely okay with. It will eventually wear on you, you will get exhausted from walking on egg shells and eventually…BOOM! You'll be the one to explode, orrr you'll shrivel up and disappear.

I am sorry that you struggle with emotional boundaries. It must be difficult to not only take on your own emotions but also the emotions of those around you.